Love

It's going to sound so cliché, but love is really everywhere.

We so often hyper focus on romantic love, that we forget love has million of forms. Self love, love from a friend, love from a stranger. Being loving is the easiest in the world. And we are truly surrounded by love. 

When going through a breakup is when we realize that our girlfriends are amazing. They say men are for a chapter but girlfriends are for forever and looking at my current circumstances, I whole heartily agree. 

Women are amazing, and one of the many things I love about us is our ability to be there for each other's, no matter what's going on in our own lives. Our empathy is truly a gift, to see each other's pain, to honour it and to somehow, diminish it. Well, maybe not diminish it, but at least make it bearable.

The pain is still there, painful reminder of what's gone, but the massive hole in my chest is being filled with countless messages, hugs, phone calls, presence and thoughts.

And so I know I'll be fine, and that one day the pain will be gone, my tears will be dry, and the hole in my chest will be a distant memory, like a nightmare disappearing at sunrise. 

Diaries of a broken heart #4

And for a tiny suspended moment, life feels ok. A friend makes a joke and I laugh. A true, authentic laugh. A good song comes on while I'm cooking and I'm dancing in the kitchen again.

Some moments are good. The pain in my chest is weaker and I can breathe.

Like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, reminding you that just because the sun is hidden doesn't mean it's gone. I can finally see that the pain won't last forever. That happiness is right there, close by, ready to be mine again once it's time.

But first, we grieve, we cry, we feel it all and we let it all go. 

Glimmers

 Friday, April, 4th, 2025

They say the opposite of triggers are glimmers. Those little moments where you find peace, where you notice the beauty of the world and of your life. Those glimmers are my saving boat. A stranger's smile. The way the light hits the water and makes it look so beautiful. The sky being painted in pastel colours at sunrise. The bus driver seeing me run and waiting for me. A comforting song playing just at the right moment. The sun hitting a glass surface just right and creating a rainbow on the ground. 

I notice those moments and for a second everything is well. For a second there is no sadness, no anger, no confusion. Just peace, at least a glimpse of it. For a second all is well. And maybe one day it will.

Diaries of a broken heart #3

 Thursday, April, 3rd, 2025

And after the pain, the sadness, the heaviness, finally comes the anger that I welcome with open arms. Anger that fills me with fire, with energy, that I can use to move on, to move with purpose, to move. Sadness feels like being stuck, while anger fuels me and pushes me to move.

Isn't it funny how fast it goes? What isn't funny though, is the back and forth. One minute I'm heartbroken, sad, on the ground crying and the next I'm hopeful, I can dry my tears and stand up on my own. And then, like a roller-coaster, I'm down on my knees again begging for a sign.

This is the worst heartbreak ever. The kind where you slowly realize the person you love might not be the person you need them to be, they might no be the One.

How do you say goodbye to someone you deeply love and care for? How do you adjust to their absence, to the massive hole they leave in your life?